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Tuesday, October 22, 2019

empathy erased

Of course the next time I opened YouTube after that last post it almost immediately suggested a video on psychopathy.





QAI knows me. I've been sharing who I am for a long time.

surviving

So if you watched that vid, you know psychopathy is not that terribly uncommon, and that many of us live normal lives. No, I'm not diagnosed. I still have secrets I haven't brought up even after 12 years.

I have struggled with trust all my life. I've made my internal struggles with how I see friendships public. I've been honest about a number of issues I've had to survive through including a very nasty car wreck, my best friend being violently raped and murdered, my parents being mentally unstable, my autism being a filter in a very self unaware point of view, and decades of physical fail compounding how I handle things. But I still don't act out my real feelings. I know that would be self defeating and selfish. I have been told I'm the least selfish person around. No one has ever figured out it's the only way I survive myself.

I'm still here. Every Halloween I think I'M STILL HERE. I know many aren't. If you survived childhood or relationship trauma, tell your stories. All our stories are more related and much more important than you think or imagine.

We live in a world where emotional trauma is entertainment, but taboo in real life. How twisted is that? I often feel like our world is an experiment in turning our minds inside out.

Maybe I'm not wrong.



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