think beyond connecting the dots

Several decades ago, I challenged my mother to step outside of her faith to consider other ways of seeing things. I argued that faith out of fear isn't really faith, and that we don't lose what we believe just because we allow ourselves to see from another point of view.

A few years later, I asked a college professor of old testament prophets whether we are not all God incarnate, if we actually apply what prophets implied here and there, and he said perhaps I was a prophet myself and walked away. I never could tell if he was being sarcastic.

I found myself going through outrageous synchronicties and started researching everything I could get my hands on, science theories, philosophies, religions, hauntings, metaphysics, time and reality speculations, near death experiences, anything and everything that my upbringing had never really questioned or allowed to question.

After that, I started telling others that we are never alone, that we are here for reasons we don't remember, that we might even be each other and not even know it, making kindness a kind of logic so that we can become the heroes and loves that we long for and can't seem to find. We are what we are looking for.

All my life I've had dreams of being shown all kinds of things, and I have felt unnaturally stuck in a singular place and time. Who I am in this body started out as arbitrary info, and what I do in this life is done through a restricted point of view as a physical being, whether I like it or not.

Over the last several years I've been talking about waking up and being able to see beyond the restrictions I live in this body in this life in the circumstances around me. I've been both frustrated at others still asleep and very excited about seeing so much more now.

The coolest part has been discovering that there are millions of others experiencing the same thing I have, all their lives.




One of the misconceptions I see among waves of wakers on the medias is the idea that waking up shrugs off all our hard stuff and we find our bliss. I don't think it's possible to wake up all at once like that, and our tiny feeble ways on this weeping world limit how much we can take. One can be cognitively awake long before becoming emotionally awake and more in tune. If anything, all the bits of waking up I've done over the years, along with the private joys came harder challenges, and I reached a place where going back to sleep was impossible. Being stuck awake with no one to talk to can be rough, and you really do go it alone, as they say. What you begin to know in your heart doesn't match the way life grinds you around, and you either find ways to make the hard choices for change, or you let it swallow you back up asleep. From what I can tell, you don't really get to just wake back up when you feel like it. You ride it out and learn to fly into the wind every chance you get or you miss it.

So don't despair. If you feel the waking up, and the world is pulling back at you and everything hurts inside and out, take heart. Without the pain, we sit there, like turtles sunning on a log. Without the hunger for more, we bask in the warm shallows even if death and destruction are upon us unheeded. Waking up is how we change the world around us, bit by bit, moment by moment, heart by heart.

It feels hard because it is. It takes awhile because of how our point of view works in this world in these bodies. But you are not alone. I've been saying for years on my blogs, you are not alone. We're here waking up, too. And I know exactly what it feels like being yanked up and down and all around by brain chemicals. It's just something we're riding out while we do this life, and sometimes it's exactly what we need when we arrive to the right place at the right time.