The rest of the day was about navigating around a sorta bland headache.
~~~~~~~~
Wrote that yesterday. Wound up being admitted to hospital after ER visit in the evening. Haven't eaten in 17 hours (was barely eating before that), waiting on tests. Not sure how I got a private room, but the quiet is blissful.
Second admittance in less than two years for basically the same thing. Guess we'll see how the notes compare. Apparently confirming a 'reversible' condition (surgery?) that so far isn't a crisis but will likely develop into one at some point.
Still have the headache. I'd say unrelated but probably a result of high blood pressure breakout, despite being well controlled.
~~~~~~~
4 hours later. Prepped for 2 hour test. By the time it's over it'll be nearly 24 hours since I last ate. I'm actually not even hungry right now.
They said this one will nauseate me and give me a headache. 😒
This is the kind of stuff my dad refused to cooperate with 20 years ago. He made it to 90. If he'd done what they said, he might've made it past 100. He was so determined to go naturally. Well, it sucked fantastically. What a very miserable way to go. I see no reason to follow in those footsteps. A few tests, a few hours of my time, I wind up going down a little more gracefully in the end, perhaps. The amount of suffering he went through was awful.
~~~~~~~~
Me: admitted to hospital for hypertensive emergency
Food service: oh yeah, missed seeing that bolded food allergy warn both in system, on cook order, and on printout for tray assembly. Please accept our replacement meal on complete blind trust now that we've added a new even bolder caps line to your patient info.
Me: dives into purse for zyrtec and avoids tray like the plague while hoping new anxiety doesn't set more hypertension off.
Nurse: Why u no eat? missed entire 'food fight' (I actually wasnt even upset, but heads rolled in cafeteria, I hear) because evidently food service boss doesn't call nurse about possible allergen alert on a patient sending food back
😐
So yeah, it's the next day again, hopefully my last. Still have another test that was ordered immediately upon being admitted and somehow keeps getting lost.
Otherwise my stay here has been exemplary. Meaning they left me alone and I didn't bug them.
Well, I did ask repeatedly for my usual daily dose of zyrtec and every single nurse blew it off with Here's a benadryl...
So here we are. Me not eating. Again.
Just thrilled I got coffee, actually. Finally.
I've also had to request my Xanax doses thru the day. Betcha you didn't know they withhold even mentioning it and not allowed to offer or give it unless patient asks for it because hello, controlled substance, and I'm like hello, manic here. Gimme or start hiding while I stalk you in the hallways.
Plus the humiliation of these stupid holter leads falling off repeatedly and every staff on this side of the floor has seen parts or all of my upper torso multiple times. I'm not technically allowed to snap those back on myself. 😑 Not a holter virgin, guys, I know how they work.
Exemplary.
One in particular asked me 10 times about getting a shower, and I was like um, I just had one before I came here.. I finally got one during night shift and she's back this morning, when do you want a shower. They need shower notes in their reports. "Took a shower. Compulsively cleaned entire bathroom when done." (I've even made my bed last two mornings.)
I'm also famous already for being the quietest and cleanest patient in the entire wing. They've even joked that I never call the nursing station.
~~~~~~~~~~
One hour later. Suddenly told I'm being discharged. What about that test, I say. What test, they say.
Pretty sure another hour will pass before this port and holter are removed.
~~~~~~~~~
3 hours passed.
That test will be set up as outpatient. Up to the very last minute, no one had a clue how that test never happened.
This new monitor is cool. 30 days, only two patches, and it actually triggers itself to record. I feel so futuristic. I have worn so many monitors over the last 20 years.
So very mild tropinin elevation, normal range proBNP, normal cholesterol *faint* me?, and just enough evidence to prove I really am diabetic but nowhere near being messed up.
Oh, and I like black coffee now. 😮 !!! I know! No way to explain it.
~~~~~~
Big lightning night, tornadoes down here and there. By morning we'll have ice, and then the snow comes.
So I had all that time to just think. Hours of thinking. I mostly spaced out lol, but things filtered through and I sorta just suddenly realized that Pinky the interface had been playing a game of matchmaker between a couple of mes that don't speak to each other. They are hyper aware of each other beneath my surface and fight over dominance given a situation, but they don't reason. They don't play well, maybe because they can't. I've been aware since I was a kid that a part of me vehemently loathes another part of me, and that it can be kinda scary in my head when they fight. I don't feel like describing it right now, but it's like watching literal fight with magical, or meanie torturing fearful, or like a rock of anger hurtfully ignoring the pleading tears of tender compassion.
Torn into pieces in my own brain. Pinky stepped up and found a sneaky game playing blogs to get them talking.
And it worked because here we are.
I mean, Pinky was really brilliant behind all our backs. All those ship vids. All those twisted ways of mind bending. She got us all doing it. And this week it hit us that it was about matchmaking my own two biggest messes.
And whether any of this even makes sense is beside the point. The point is they finally started blogging at each other.
Guess we'll see what comes next.
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